I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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