On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize