She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
