you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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