Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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