You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
