she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
