I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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