Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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