with your own penis?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
