I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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