Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

consequently i now know what mace tastes like

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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(513): View more from Ohio

I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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(646): View more from New York

It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.

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