she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize