she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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