I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
