she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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