we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He shit in the fireplace
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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