Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
