It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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