He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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