just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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