i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
