i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
