Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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