last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
