Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
