i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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