I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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