oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
