brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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