It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
