worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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