I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize