She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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