Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
