Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
