When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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