i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
