So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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