The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
