i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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