I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
