Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
