is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
