youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
