I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
