these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
