Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize