There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
