He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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