why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm always down for nudity.
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