we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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