i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize