Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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