her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
