That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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