Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
