do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
