brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
