His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
