road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
