OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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