Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize