Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
