I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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