He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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