sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
