We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
