Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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