I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
