I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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