you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
