Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He is an equal opportunity slut.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
